💁Warning: I'm about to get real deep on y'all tonight...
I'm your typical kind of stubborn horse lady... Be honest, we are all as hard headed as the animals we ride. (God bless the mellow husbands that just turn a blind eye when we take the poop fork out of their hands, because they "can't scoop good enough.") One thing I've learned through this situation is that needing help isn't a sign that you aren't capable enough. I always find myself having those OCD tendencies where I imagine the worst case scenario and then work through a path to solve it. I love being a problem solver. I love having things handled. I love being that person people come to for help.... But I have no freaking clue how to be that person ASKING for help... Further more, why are we in a society that criticizes people that are willing to ask. IT TAKES FREAKING GUTS to have to courage to reach out to others... To wonder if you're going to be judged... To wonder if people care.
This why I share so much of our lives, I feel like if I've helped one person get through a rough day... Then I've done something to improve humanity. And let's be honest, humanity is in need of some help! Drama aside, I love social media for all of the uplifting stories from around the world. There's no other way to connect with so many people on the same level. It's amazing!
But back to my story... I grew up with the thought that being successful meant that you never had to ask for anything from anyone... That you handled your business with a smile, no matter how bad things are. We own horses... There's a crisis being averted or happening every 5 minutes... If you don't know what I'm talking about, you need buy a few more horses. As I got older, I began to have a huge respect for people that were transparent. You know, that trainer that just got bucked off in the parking lot, dusted off and went on with her day, not caring about anyone laughing. She's smart enough to know those laughing will eventually find themselves in the same boat at some point. She's got nothing to prove to haters.
Life is humbling. Horses are humbling. Oklahoma weather is humbling. Sometimes depending on other people can be hella humbling (and infuriating). But for every bad encounter, there's 20 good-hearted people that will step up and remind you that there are good souls out there. And they deserve to be celebrated.
Why are we so afraid to let people see our weaknesses? Why are we so afraid to just tell things as they are? Why do we put the heaviest expectations on ourselves? You can be as inspirational and motivational as anyone else out there, but do you believe in your own words? Are you living your own words? Lately, I've caught myself slipping. It's darn easy to be positive when everything is going great. Yeah, just work hard and you can do anything!!! Well when all you know how to do is work, work, work... And that gets taken away from you... You create a bigger storm of emotions in your head... That's what I've been going through. The storm circulating in my head is waayyy bigger than the one that took out my barn, and much more deadly. So I'm working on checking myself and working on my internal struggle with my career defining who I am to me.
My ability to work does not define my character or my worth. I love my career, but I have other things to offer too. Sometimes I'm so caught up in what I think people expect, that I don't realize I'm putting the ridiculous expectations on myself. Goals for this week... I'm gonna do me and let other people worry about themselves. I'm going to appreciate the lessons from rock bottom as I rise back to the top. ✌️ With all the chaos in the world, remember to stop and give yourself some love. 💜